Friday, 25 May 2007

I'm Back!!

I have had no internet at home (and barely a spare moment during my day at work to check my emails) for over a week and I have felt so out of the loop! and the news came out about the paper pesto design team and i didn't even get to post a huge post like this:


I am a DT member!! I am so excited and don't think I can wait until september when it is my first month! I will have to buy a kit earlier just so I can feel like I am participating!.




I can't believe how it has all come together so quickly. I was just an unknown scrapbooking wannabe and then... I was the random winner of the no.8 wired blog, then I got featured in a Blue Bazaar newsletter as a spotlighted layout, then I got my first page accepted (will be in scrapbooking memories vol 9 no 4 by the way) then my second. then there was something I am not yet allowed to mention, and then I was chosen for the paper pesto DT. And then I was the favourite layout for the no.8 wired dare.... What else is coming I wonder?? I have put in for another DT, submitted more pages for mags and put several in for dares and jacks.

What I would really like is to be on another DT (I reckon I could cope with 2 especially since PP only wants us to submit 3 times in the year) and be published in an american mag. Yep. Those are my next two aims...

I don't like goals - do you? Lately I have found so many people who hate goals like me. I just hate the pressure of it - even though I am supposedly the one who decides what needs to be done by when. I did this awesome training for work recently - entitles bla bla bla personal and professional development and we went through this process to set intentions (as opposed to setting goals). We came to statements of intention: I intend to say yes to my next opportunity for social contact was mine.

and I ahve followed through, said yes to my next opportunity for social contact and also adjusted my statement of intention to: I intend to say yes to every opportunity for social contact. And I feel excellent about that.

Let me explain. Social contact has historically been a huge source of anxiety and negative self talk for me and often it would start the spiral down of depression. I would feel uncomfortable and inadequate in social situations, then feel pathetic for feeling uncomfortable and inadequate and then feel even worse for being the kind of person who feels pathetic ... and on and on. So over time I became very good at avoiding social contact in all shapes and forms, and very good at shutting people down when they initiated social contact so taht they never asked again...

And that left me isolated and a bit of a loner.... but I don't want or need taht any more. I can go to an event and initiate a conversation with someone. Sometimes it will go well, sometimes it will die a quick death. either way I am ok with myself, infact I am pleased with myself for making any attempt. but the next step is to have more social contact so taht I can feel pleased with myself.

I really like the 'statement of intent' rather than the goal. I have found it much more freeing - it is a possibility if I choose to take it, not a 'must' or a 'should' and I like that.

Well that is not what I was planning to write about. I just wanted to celebrate my progress in the scrapbooking world and smile and SHOUT about how cool it all is!

Pity I only got 2.5 pages done this weekend. I will try to do some evening work this week. I haven't done an excellent page for a while (about 2 weeks)so I think it is time.

oh I forgot to mention, Francie and her family are arriving from the States tomorrow! we are excited to see them!.

Sorry I am on the back computor and so there is no spellcheck and so you get this post as it comes out first time - few capitals, lots of typos and probably not enough puctuation!.

but thanks for reading anyway - assuming anyone does!

Saturday, 12 May 2007

well hello!

It is saturday now and I just received two more rejection letters from jobs I have applied for. OH well it is probably better than the ones that I never hear back from at all! It doesn't actually bother me too much - I just keep wondering when I will finally find the right one. I have decided (more to console myself than anything) that the reason I haven't had an interview is that if they met me they would most certainly want me for the job, and the jobs haven't been the right one yet....

I saw Miss Potter this week with Mum - cool movie, I really liked it! I always the period costumes, and the little animated peter rabbit characters were gorgeous but the leading lady (damn, can't remember her name right now) was incredible. Anyway... there is a part where Beatrix and her other single friend talk about the positives of being single and then later when Beatrix tells her that she is getting married and is concerned about what millie will think since she is so keen on being single, Millie says 'What else would a single woman say?'

OK, so you had to be there!

I have had almost 2 weeks without scrapping. I decided that I was spending too much time on it and that it was getting a bit out of whack.... so now I am back in whack and have done a couple of pages. Now if I can just get the kids off the other computer so I can scan them....

Oh and did I tell you that Scrapbooking Memories wants another one of my pages? The one called a Chanelle by any other Name. I really like that one, so that is really nice. I haven't done one that I like as much as that one. But that doesnt mean I won't try!!

I am looking forward to seeing Francie and her family when they come over in a few weeks. And I will have to take lots of pictures with the cousins together!